


Hardly Camouflaged

by AdamantSteve



Series: WIP Amnesty/FicDump [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Steampunk, tony thinks it's dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-20
Packaged: 2018-01-20 01:47:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1492222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamantSteve/pseuds/AdamantSteve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team rope Steve into going to a Steampunk event. Tony is NOT impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hardly Camouflaged

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: **this story is unfinished and unbetaed**.The end of the fic has a list of what happens after the events detailed in the story.   
>  This was originally written for a Bingo which I never finished. I'm personally not a huge fan of Steampunk as you may be able to tell from Tony's dislike, but I tried to be neutral in my writing!

"Are you kidding me!? What the fuck is that?" 

"Tony!" Steve admonishes, turning around in the goddamn ridiculous trench coat thing he's wearing to glare at the bad language. 

Tony just rolls his eyes and scowls. " _What_ are you wearing?" 

That appeases Steve a little somehow, and he smiles as he shows off the redundant little straps and flaps on the coat that apparently make it 'steampunk'. Tony sighs, but otherwise contains himself. 

"Who put you onto this?" He asks, eyes narrowed. 

 

Before he can answer, Clint walks in wearing a pair of goggle things on his head that have cogs on the sides and... LEDs around the edges. The rest of what he's wearing looks like some kind of messed up version of the Mark VII, if it was made by a blind victorian. "Steve! You look awesome!" 

"No he doesn't!" Tony declares, looking Clint up and down in something bordering on outrage. “You both look ridiculous. I demand an explanation!"

 

Clint rolls his eyes this time. "Tony, I know you don't like steampunk. Can't you just let us have a bit of fun?" 

Tony huffs. "You can have as much fun as you want, but don't rope Steve into it. Isn't it enough that you parade your fucked up, engineering lite bullshit around my tower? Why do you gotta push it onto innocents like Steve? He doesn’t _know_ any better." Tony clasps his hands either side of Steve’s shoulders as he bristles at the innocents comment, and Clint laughs. "Really? 'fucked up engineering lite bullshit?' C'mon it's not that bad." 

Tony lets go of Steve to step in and pluck the goggles from Clint’s head to look at them closer. "So do these cogs actually do anything? Or the lights, are they in any way useful beyond making you look like an extra from.." he casts around for a fitting reference, "Hellboy?" 

"Gosh, Mr Engineer, not everything has to have a use! Some things just look nice. Why'd you paint your suit red and gold? That’s hardly camouflaged." 

"That's-" Tony begins, momentarily thrown. "Beside the point." 

 

"Sure," Clint laughs, taking the goggles back and placing them at an angle (an angle!) on his head.

"What are you laughing at?" Natasha asks, sweeping into the room in a huge victorian style dress complete with bustle, corset and tiny hat nestled in her somehow great big hair. 

"Oh come ON!" Tony cries as Steve and Clint politely clap and tell her how awesome she looks. There are tiny brass lenses sewn into her dress for some ungodly reason, and she's carrying some sort of telescope thing. 

"Is there any... reasoning behind all the lenses? Got any cogs in your hair or anything?" 

"Not a fan of steampunk?" she asks, settling on a stool next to Steve and checking out another brass-looking thing on his sleeve. 

"Not a fan of pointless engineering accoutrements stuck to things, no. It's an insult to engineering, is what it is." 

"It's cool looking, is what it is," Clint counters. 

 

The elevator dings and out come Bruce and- "Agent?! You too?! Are you SERIOUS?!"

They're both dressed in the same sort of ridiculous things as the other three, Agent Coulson in something pinstriped with a monocle and a hat made out of... tubes? and Bruce in a bowler hat and a rather fetching threepiece with an unfortunate mostly-metal waistcoat. Tony pulls at his hair in outrage. 

"You're all dead to me!" he declares. "Dead." 

 

"We're going to the Steampunk Expo down on the dock. I suppose it’s pointless asking if you wanna come?" Steve says, looking a little too earnest considering.

"No thank you," Tony answers curtly, going to the coffee machine which had been his entire reason for coming up here in the first place. 

"We'll bring you back something nice," Phil tells him, winking and making his monocle fall out.

"Please don't," Tony says, waving behind him as they all clomp to the elevator. 

 

-

 

He's in the workshop when his phone chimes. Jarvis brings up the image on the screen. _"Someone made a steampunk Iron Man suit!"_ reads Steve's text, and sure enough, there's what amounts to an Iron Man suit with an abundance of irrelevant pulleys, levers and fucking cogs all over it. 

"Jarv, text back that I'm going to sue whoever made it for psychological crimes against humanity."

"Certainly, sir." Jarvis intones, the actual message he sends being nothing like what Tony instructed. 

 

-

 

_Tony decides to make an Iron Man suit that is ACTUALLY run on steam power, because he gets the thought of it stuck in his head. When everyone’s off at some Steampunk event, a bad guy attacks! He is working on the suit, so hops in and flies to the rescue. Tony’s hailed as a Steampunk hero, much to his annoyance._

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
